First, free legal advice:
If you go to a Civil War battlefield and strike the ground
with your hand and record the sound for a record of metal detecting songs, you
will be fined $40.
So… don't do that, says Dirt Girl’s dream.
Just a few tidbits to share.
Yup, you read the headline correctly. Cheryl and I were
contacted by a New York City casting agency. Someone (not sure who because it
is apparently a HUGE AND IMPORTANT SECRET) is developing a pilot for a treasure
hunting show. "Sort of like American Pickers but for treasure hunters!" Would we like to fill out an application?
No! I responded. We are not like those dumbasses on Diggers
who bellow about "Nectar!" and hang from trees when they unearth coins that have been
clearly planted by the production interns the night before. We are not like
that at all.
But, I countered: might they be interested in some metal
detecting songs? I have a few of those. Not their department, they said. They
just do the casting. Why not just fill out the application?
So we filled it out and the next day, they requested
a Skype interview.
I made it clear that Cheryl and I aren’t treasure hunters,
specifically. That is to say, we do not slither into crawlspaces, tear apart
walls, get dropped down wells, etc.
We do metal detecting. We are really good at spending hours
being utterly boring to watch: swinging our Fisher F75s, then crouching down,
then peering at something without the benefit of reading glasses, then looking
disgusted and disappointed. Maybe once an hour we will look happy.
Not like this. This is sarcasm. |
But despite this honest caveat, the 14-year-old casting lady still wanted to interview us.
The day of the interview, I flat-ironed my hair – OF COURSE
– and updated Skype to the latest version. At noon, Cheryl came over and we did
what anyone would do an hour prior to a potentially life-changing Skype
interview: we went and got delicious margaritas.
At 1 sharp, “Melissa” appeared on my screen and started asking us questions.
Forty minutes flew by. When we signed off, we were high as
kites. We knew our chances were slim to none, being as how we are MIDDLE AGED
WOMEN and therefore invisible to American media, so we just appreciated the
experience for what it was.
It’s been over two weeks now, and we haven’t heard anything
more, so it (whatever “it” is – we have no details…) is probably not going to
happen. If I'm disappointed at all, it's not because we won't get to be on TV (anyone who's read my memoir, Not About Madonna, knows how I feel about that) -- it's that they probably could have scored us some really good places to dig.
But you know, we seem to be doing pretty well on our own.
One beautiful Saturday, Cheryl and I decided to check out
the Bank of Harmonica again (see last post). As we pulled in, we noticed a man
mowing his lawn two doors down.
Hmm.
We took a little stroll in his direction and engaged him in
polite conversation. Turns out Luis is a delightful, friendly homeowner and
allowed us to detect his sizeable property, which more or less abuts the bank.
He had halfheartedly MD’d his yard some years back, had dug a bunch of
horseshoes and a log-splitter, then returned the detector to the dealer. Not
his thing.
Not a problem. We had a lovely time. Didn’t find much, as we
were trying to be very careful with his lawn (it hasn’t rained in weeks) but I
did find this lovely axe head.
Pre-electric soup. |
I thought this was a piece of foil until I got it home and
cleaned up.
Badge from the Improved Order of Red Men. Not a whole lot to say about that. You can look it up. |
I challenge you to look up Challenge overalls. |
Waffles, anyone? |
Other odds and ends. Loving that buckle. |
Newbie Laura continues to show great enthusiasm for this
hobby, peppering my phone with texts like, “Are you finished with work yet? Can
you sneak away?”
Laura, sneaking away. But not me. I would never. |
Last Sunday, I took her back to a farm in Hermitage I’ve
been slowly exploring. It’s a huge
property with a long walk through ticky, snaky woods to an area that’s got “old
home site” written all over it. (The ground is full of iron and mason jar
lids.) But Cheryl and I have never quite found THE spot, as it’s very rough
going and quite overgrown.
I think we're getting closer, though.
Flat button, buckles, thing with daisies. |
One of Laura's finds, all cleaned up. Wish I'd taken a "before" pic. It looked like the Mickey Mouse of Rust. |
That night, I lay on the sofa and caught up on some back
episodes of “Nashville” while sensing a demonic presence or two nearby.
Happy Memorial Day, all!
Any bullets or buttons I find this weekend will be even more meaningful than usual.
Bullets. Buttons. Fossil. |